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Mother Knows Best?
I love my mother. She is a very strong woman. She raised four children and worked in the family business for twenty-five years during a time when women were not allowed to work. He has that power that I know has been passed down from generation to generation; my grandmother, my grandmother, my mother, me, and my daughter. And that energy was mixed with my ex-husband’s stories, cooking, and mom’s worries and fears for her family…overwhelming I might add.
Mom married young. She met my father when she was fourteen and never looked back. She nursed a baby on carrot syrup and mother-in-law milk, changed diapers and plastic pants, scrubbed us clean after playing in the mud all day, got her four kids, her husband, and herself ready for the church every Sunday, and even fall. down the church steps with my newborn brother in her arms. When he brought down the full flight, it kept him in good health. He didn’t know it at the time but his hip was broken. He now walks with a small, distinct handicap, which he found to be cured in his later years. It may sound like most mothers back in the day, but Mom also took care of her mother when she was eight years old and even cooked for her younger brother. They thought that Mom’s mother was pregnant, but after two years and there was no child, but the stomach continued to grow, it was worse. He had a water tumor that weighed over fifty pounds. Everyone didn’t believe the doctor at the time, hoping that he would just ‘wake up’. Mother and grandmother took care of the household. Mom worked in a peach factory when she was nine years old to support the family. His mother also had to be operated on but she was unable to move so the operation was done at home. While mom was at school, she wasn’t sure if her mom would still be alive when she got back that day. His mother lost seventy pounds that first day and then they took her to the hospital.
After that, Mom returned to a ‘normal’ life but internally she had already started to develop her own outlook on life and moved on to raising her children.
Mom and Dad have lived with Lee and I since Peanut was born. The nut is now almost thirteen years old and has been lucky enough to raise two generations of females.
Now I can laugh at some of the things my mother used to tell me and I thought were true. I see that some of Mom’s wisdom is born out of fear and the need to know all the answers even if she doesn’t.
I came last. I am the son of the family. Mom is very happy that I am a girl. Mom was busy with me during the birth but why didn’t she? He had a broken hip and was unconscious. He repeats the story on the eve of my birthday every year: “You didn’t just come out. You got stuck. The doctor used forceps and everything. The doctor said there was nothing more they could do and they had me ready for They are doing surgery. I shouted “God, Universe, Angels…whatever is there, just give it a little!” I then yelled, “I’m your mother and you better listen to me…get out…NOW!” He said at that time that I flew out as if I had heard his words. He said up to that time that I always wanted to stay inside and not in the physical world.
We get along well. Like two girlfriends attached at the waist. We have a ball when we go to town and have Chinese food together. He needs my arm to move around here. He won’t use a cane and won’t go to the store without a basket to lean on. He doesn’t want anyone to think he can’t pull his weight at eighty years old.
He likes to complicate simple experiences. It doesn’t come from wanting to be too complicated; it comes from not wanting to ‘kick you out’ in any way. If we decide to eat, he asks again and again if I want to go somewhere else: “We don’t have to go there, we can go here if you want. Chinese is good, but if not, good for you” …
“That’s great mom. I love Chinese.”
“Me too but maybe you don’t feel it today even though I do. Your dad likes Chinese, but we can always go with him when you take him into town to see the doctor.”
When we drive, he hangs on the handle and exclaims, “Oh!” every few minutes. Their eyes are bad and that eye makes things that are seen closer than they are.
“Where are we going? You’ve never been down this road before,” he said as if I was doing something wrong.
“We always go this way mom.”
“Well…I guess I’m just desperate then. I don’t know where we are. Are you sure…”
He insists on buying me candy when I help him like a little girl. It totally freaks me out. Don’t get me wrong I love candy but I don’t eat it much anymore especially since I’ve put on weight but that’s okay with mom. She always tells me I’m too skinny and if I lose more weight I’ll look older than I am and shy.
“It’s just not healthy, Bethie.”
“Bethie? I made pinto beans with ham and bacon in them. Would you like to eat them?”
He doesn’t seem to remember that I haven’t eaten pinto beans since I was a kid. I had a stomach ache then and still do.
“You don’t like my beans, do you? Well . . . you know beans aren’t fattening? They just give people gas . . . that’s all. I’ve figured out how to keep beans from offending you. know.”
I felt the laughter in my throat. I keep it together. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
“How is it mom?”
“Smear them with baking soda.”
“Did you know that vinegar cures EVERYTHING? If you drink a cup of vinegar a day, you won’t get cancer.”
I don’t speak. He has cancer and is in remission. He drinks a cup of vinegar a day.
“Bethie? You know what drives me crazy? When your dad sneezes. I’m afraid he’s going to blow his head off one day. You know…it happens sometimes.”
“Bethie? I always hear that when a man gets older, he has no desire. You know what I mean by urge, right?”
I shake my head hoping he won’t go too far on the subject.
“He still takes my soul. Can you believe it?”
Yes I can believe that. Since his attack, he has been doing it in front of all of us.
“You know … I love that old coot. I wouldn’t take a million for him and I wouldn’t take a dime for anybody else.”
I must say that living with my parents is a wonderful experience. They make me laugh every day of my life whether it’s intentional or not.
I know that all his worries, all his stories, all his complaints; all his questions are part of who he is. And I will take it all in just a few years with this wonderful woman called ‘Mom’.
As I cut the guinea pig’s breakfast, Mom came up behind me and gave me a big hug, “I love you, baby girl.”
“I love you too mom.”
“Can I feed the pig?”
I hand him the plate full of vegetables. This is one of his favorite things to do. She walks into the guinea piggies room with the cute little one, holds her salad up in the air, and squeals like a little girl when she comes with her little star paws.
My mother…one in a million…I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
Please visit my profile page where you will find my ‘My Imperfect Life’ fan page on Facebook. Daily posts! http://www.facebook.com/myimperfectlyperfectlife
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