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Creating Children Who Are Easy to Parent
We all want to find ways to create peace, harmony and overall joy in our world. Many parents have turned to countercultural philosophies of gentle discipline, parenting, and nonviolent communication to find parenting skills that might help them. practice effective and respectful ways to communicate and discipline their children.
I am very interested in attachment theory and recently I was immersed in the perspective of this theory from Dr. Gorden Neufeld, author of Hold On to Your Kids. Neufeld explains that parenting skills, responsibility, and love are all positive elements that help us achieve our goals of good parenting and creating receptive children. Interestingly, he points out that in the end, it is the love our children have for us that makes children easier to raise. So he pointed out that we must create a loving and connected relationship with our children so that our children can want to please us, listen to us, be influenced by our values.
It is common knowledge that parents are struggling to raise children these days. I am very interested in why this is. We are often reviled by previous generations for our lack of self-confidence, competence and integrity. Our grandparents were shocked by what they thought was a permissive parenting style.
I think, yes, there seems to be a wave of forgiving education in response to the strict and punitive upbringing we received. But Neufeld’s point is very interesting. He believes that our culture lacks affection and that is why family structure and parenting are suffering. We really live in different times with different values than before. Both parents and children today are different from parents and children in the past. He suggests that our culture today places more value on making money than nurturing and developing relationships with our families. He suggests that the rituals surrounding relationship building are not often practiced.
For example, greetings and goodbyes are an important part of bonding culture. Warmly smiling, hugging, and saying “hello,” as well as making sure someone says goodbye to make up for the absence – these simple cultural rituals are a dead face in America today.
He believes that children who have rhythm, structure and routine in their daily lives are better behaved than those who live without them. Our values and expectations are passed on to our children through the rhythms of our daily lives.
I really like the Waldorf approach, especially for young children. The Waldorf philosophy is based on the idea of creating rhythm for children. I think today’s moms can be confused or confused when they hear that rhythm is so important because we live busy lives and often our schedules are unpredictable and whatever BUT rhythmic or systematic, however we like it. Also, we may immediately think that creating rhythm means being rigid and linear in time.
It should be easy to understand that a “rhythm” is not hard at all, but simple and soft.
During my recent research on healthy eating, I read an article about natural body rhythms. He explained that there is a connection between weight gain and lightness. Before the light, people woke up early and went to bed shortly after sunset. Sunlight provides a natural bio-rhythm. We know that lack of sleep can increase the body’s need for carbohydrates and since many mothers meet the needs of their families during the day, we find ourselves at night, trying to help the children to sit without fear of giants, fulfill ourselves. to-do lists, or time constraints for ourselves. Yes! We admit we are sleep deprived and yes, we even crave carbs.
No wonder Ma Ingles is so calm and well-behaved – she rests well, eats organically, and lives to the rhythm of the day!
Through these reflections, I am reminded again that simple, gentle rhythms and daily rituals are not only important for my children, but can slow the pace of life and allow me to parent be a good mother and enjoy my children more.
In Sharifa Oppenheimer’s book, Heaven on Earth, she helps parents understand how to create a daily rhythm. Simple rituals when they wake up like… “stirring the herbal tea, or putting out bowls and spoons for the oatmeal. They can help with their little brooms when they clean up after dinner.” Isn’t that wonderful?
I am beginning to understand the importance of keeping things simple in raising young children. Over-parenting can be hard to stop! There are so many things parents do to young children that take us away from our homes, put us in large groups of people and children, overstimulate their little bodies, introduce too much sugar and processed food. , and creates an insatiable thirst in general. more of our children. More entertainment, more sugar, “more fun.”
My job as a mom really pushes me to find ways to find my daily rhythms and small rituals to get back to a simpler way of being together. That doesn’t mean I won’t schedule an afternoon trip to the Museum of Life and Science, or that I won’t involve my kids in extracurricular activities.
This means that we can start the day with making tea and oatmeal or cold waffles with peanut butter, taking our time, watching the birds or the carpenter bees buzzing around on the porch.
Yes, it’s sweet and granola, too. I don’t know about you, but the sweet innocence of slowness is spiritual to me. The sound, the color and the breath suddenly became beautiful and something I noticed. I long for it because our world has become so cluttered with media, electronic toys, and over-sugared, over-active, over-tired and insatiable children.
I invite you to change one part of your day to become more rhythmic. Try attachment theory and rhythm theory, mom. Would you find your behavior improved if you slowed down and established a more tangible rhythm in your life?
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