How Much Does The Average Baby Weight At 3 Months NLP Concept – Secondary Gain

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NLP Concept – Secondary Gain

When people decide to change their lives, they can often articulate why they made the change and how it benefited them and their lives. This is often a clear, reasonable and often logical explanation, however, what is missing from their justifications is the hidden benefits of remaining as they are.

These ‘hidden’ benefits, which are known to our subconscious, are often called secondary benefits.

Simple Example

To illustrate, let’s take the example of Anne Onnymouse, a 40-year-old housewife with a 2-year-old school-going child, happily married with a history of obesity. He decided to lose weight (after the advice of his doctor) and he justifies it in the following way:

“If I lose weight, I’ll be fitter and fitter, I’ll be able to play with the kids, we’ll go out more and I’ll be healthier myself.”

If we look at this list, we can see a lot of benefits, which Anne will get from losing excess weight. When we return to visit Anne 3 months later, not only has she not lost weight, she is bigger and fitter than before.

What happened? Wasn’t his motivation enough? Doesn’t he understand what he’s getting? Maybe he’s lazy?

These questions, and many others like them, will be asked by friends, family, doctors and acquaintances. People will never stop and think about it from a second profit perspective.

What can be lost?

A good question to ask (and one that is often forgotten) is “What will you lose if you make the change?”. Looking at the above scenario, Anne could easily list what she would gain from losing weight, but what she didn’t think about was the ‘withdrawal’ from the second gain. What did he gain by staying so fat?

  • He can stay at home -> no need to get dressed -> no risk of being judged

  • He will eat what he wants -> make himself happy -> he will feel safe

  • He could sit on the couch -> he didn’t have to exercise -> he was comfortable

  • He can stay who he is -> not afraid of failure

For all the good benefits of losing weight, there were equally strong reasons not to change everyone for the second major benefit of staying where they are.

Staying still is much easier than moving, staying the same is much easier than changing, and when there is a hidden pressure on us to stay where we are and become someone else (this is called personal transformation) it can be impossible. some if they don’t talk. these problems.

The second advantage and the change process

We often forget the importance of consistency in our lives and the second advantage shows how we can willingly sacrifice our efforts to change. Every day we see the power of it in the press where a celebrity goes to rehab, or loses weight for the second time, only to see them crash and burn a few months later. It’s not the will (or lack thereof), it’s not the money (because many of them are rich) it’s their ignorance of the hidden benefits of staying put.

Any personal change process needs to consider the power of secondary gain, and NLP is no different. Working with secondary benefits and solving problems is as simple as asking the question, not “Why do you want to change?” but “What will you lose if you do?”.

If a client wants to change their life, we should admire their enthusiasm, at the same time we need to question them to make sure that we are not only dealing directly with the problem in front of us, but managing the impact. the second advantage of their success.

This way we can give them the best chance for success in their future.

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