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Balancing Your Work, Family and Social Life
Balancing your work, family and social life
By Gene Griessman, PhD
Many of us have a personal image of balance as a perfect daily balance scale. But this is an unrealistic goal. You’re in for a lot of frustration if you’re trying to carve out a predetermined portion each day for work, family, and your social life. Illness can ruin all your plans. A business project may require a peak of hard work, followed by a slow valley.
Balance requires constant adjustment, like an acrobat on a high wire who constantly shifts his weight left and right. By focusing on the four main areas of your life – emotional/spiritual needs, relationships, mental needs and physical needs – at work and away from work, you can start you are safely walking the high wire.
Here, taken from my interviews with many successful Americans, are ten tips for balancing every aspect of your life:
1. Make time with yourself. Get rid of the idea that everyone else is more important than you. Don’t just use a planner or calendar for other people’s appointments. Give yourself time first. Do something you enjoy regularly. This will recharge your batteries. When you enter the calendar, pay attention to these times. Kay Koplovitz is the founder of the USA cable television network, which is on the air 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. Koplovitz managed the network’s day-to-day operations for 21 years. For more than two decades there has always been a reasonable demand for his time. So he carefully guarded his planned tennis match, as he did in business.
2. Take care of your body. Having high energy is a trait held by many successful people. Regardless of your current energy level, you can increase it by following these steps:
Eat. Don’t forget to eat. Your physical and mental energy depends on food. An unhealthy eating pattern can lead to irritability, depression, lack of creativity and an upset stomach.
Exercise. Time and time again, highly successful people tout the benefits of exercise. Johnetta Cole, president of Bennett College for Women and former president of Spelman College, takes a four-mile walk every morning. He calls it mobile meditation. The benefits of exercise are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. If you are fitter and have more strength, you can work better and longer.
Rest. A psychologist who has studied creative people reports that they often relax and sleep a lot.
3. Cut into small pieces. You don’t have to do everything. Just the right thing. Editor Steve Forbes taught me a lesson: “Don’t be addicted to the box in the box. Just because something is in it doesn’t mean you have to.” As a result, every evening, I just take a few “must dos” off my long list for the next day. If, at three o’clock the next day, I break all the “musts”, I know that everything else I do that day will be icing on the cake. It was a great psychological help for me.
There’s nothing wrong with pushing yourself hard, being disciplined
do what needs to be done when you hold yourself to the highest standards. This builds strength and turns you into a professional. But sometimes you have to forgive. You will never be 100 percent successful, nor should you expect to be. When something goes wrong, ask yourself, “Did I do my best? If you did, accept the consequences. All you can do is what you can do.
4. The boundaries are blurred. Some very successful people manage to balance by dedicating time or days for family, hobbies, hobbies or the like. They create boundaries around certain activities and protect them. Other successful people do the opposite. They blur the boundaries. Counselor Alan Weiss says, “I work from home. In the afternoons, I might watch my kids play in the pool or spend time with my wife. On Saturdays, at ten o’clock every week , I act when the spirit moves me, and when it is right.
Some jobs don’t support this strategy. But it’s possible to blur the boundaries more often than you think. One way is to involve the people you love in what you do. For example, many companies encourage employees to bring their spouses to annual conferences and meetings. That’s a good idea. If the people you care about understand what you’re doing, they can share more in your successes and failures. They are also likely to be good sounding boards for your ideas.
5. Take a break. Many medical professionals believe that taking a break from work habits can have significant benefits for mental and physical health. Professional speaker and executive coach Barbara Pagano does a quick charge type, by scheduling one session every few months without a schedule. For him, that means staying in his pajamas, putting away the phone, watching old movies or reading a story in bed. On that day, nothing happens, except what is decided every hour. As singer-songwriter Billy Joel adds, “There are times when you have to leave the field.” Joel describes what farmers often do: let the soil stand to fill the soil.
6. Take the road less traveled. Every once in a while, get off the highway and take a sidewalk, literally and figuratively. This route may take you to the library or to the golf course. Do something out of the ordinary to get out of the chaos of your life. Try a new route to work, a different radio station or a different cereal. Break out of your old mold every once in a while, with a new style of dressing or a different hobby. A less crowded route can be a reward after a difficult activity, a carrot that rewards yourself or can be a good way to relax before a big event. Bobby Dodd, the legendary football coach at Georgia Tech, knows the power of this idea. While other coaches put their teams through brutal workouts twice a day, Dodd’s team practiced and practiced, but took time to rest, play soccer and enjoy the bowl site. Did the idea work? In six championship games!
7. Be quiet. Susan Taylor, editor-in-chief of Essence, makes sure she has some quiet time every morning. He sees this as a time of focus – for stillness and listening. He keeps a pen and paper with him to write down ideas that come to him. How you use alone time should be consistent with your values, beliefs, and personality. Some people regularly set aside time each day to visualize themselves achieving their goals and dreams. Others read, pray, meditate, do yoga or simply contemplate the sunrise or sunset. No matter what form it takes, time spent alone can have significant consequences. Achievers talk about the inner strength they find and how it helps them put competing demands in perspective. They feel more confident in their choices and more confident. They find balance, focus.
8. Be patriotic in peaceful times. Joe Posner made a fortune and recognition selling life insurance. Several years ago, Posner helped start an organization in his hometown of Rochester, NY to prepare disadvantaged children for education and life and hopes to break the cycle of poverty. You may find equally worthy ways to give back through your church, hospital, civic club, alumni association or by doing pro bono work. Or you can add a specific person, even anonymously. There are powerful rewards for balancing personal interests with the needs of the common good. One of the most beautiful things is the sheer joy that comes from giving. Another reward is the better world you help create.
9. Do what you love to do. As a boy, Aaron Copeland spent hours listening to his sister practice the piano because he loved music. By following this passion, he became one of the most popular songwriters in the United States. When I asked him years later if he was disappointed by that choice, Copeland replied, “I’ve had a great life.” What words to sum up life. In reality, loving what you do does not guarantee success. You need to be good at what you love. But if you love what you do, the time you spend on your skills is less stressful.
10. Focus on strategy. Although important, how to save time to balance your life is not the final question. That question is, “What is saving time?” Strategy has everything to do with success – but success with what? If other people are paying your salary, being strategic basically means convincing them that you are spending your time in a way that benefits them. If there is a conflict about how you should use your time, convince the person who can reward or punish you that your idea of using time is right, or find another job. The “for what?” Questions should also be asked about the life you live. This is a very comprehensive question and it comes down to the question of completeness.
So what makes a successful balanced life? There is no better definition for me than the one given by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Laugh often and a lot; to gain the respect of intelligent people and the love of children; to gain the approval of true critics and endure the treachery of false friends; appreciate beauty, see the best in others; leave a better world, or a healthy child, or a garden or a redeemed social condition; knowing even one life lived easier because I lived. This is to be successful.
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