How Much Should An Average 7 Year Old Boy Weight Letters – Building Connection

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Letters – Building Connection

The letters came unannounced, usually addressed to my children, and usually contained a few sentences referring to newspaper articles. “Daddy was thinking of you when he read this. Love you, Grandma and Papa.”

The article could be about Boy Scouts or baseball or some other topic that caught Dad’s eye. I was upset with the note that the short message was meant to be an exploration of my substandard parenting. After all, he is my biggest critic. I carried his voice with me like I carried my brown hair and blue eyes. I was angry at him and the self-loathing and insecurity he had inadvertently given me. Every move, every reaction was filtered through the fog of prudence I put on to protect myself from further destruction.

We were locked in a cat and mouse game that had me cowering in the corner. However, change is inevitable – even for cats and mice. In this case, change is good.

The change centered around the arrival of a box. A box full of letters; letters written over generations; A letter written by a relative who went through a difficult relationship to sit with me on the living room floor with the emotions written all around me. Love letters, thank you notes, confessions, apologies, updates, announcements, congratulations and the many newspaper clippings that came out of the box. I clung to them in what was left of my heart. I felt the weight and texture of the paper. I gasped and marveled at the skill of the writing. I smiled at the pictures and photos of my childhood and my siblings. I loved the love note, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you the most in the world! You are the best mom.” Love, Jenny, 6 years old.

I felt connected and suddenly understood the importance and purpose of the notes I had hated for so long. Every time a note came, it was Dad’s way of reaching out to me. We had no words to share. He is now almost completely deaf and the past still clouds our ability to live comfortably, but the notes and texts tell me, “I’m thinking of you. Maybe it will help you or maybe you will find the topic interesting. , but mostly, just know, I’m thinking of you.” The notes also included the possibility that I or my children would respond – we didn’t, because I didn’t know the hand I was dealt.

When I refocused, I understood that it was time to participate in this generational chain of communication. It is time to honor and celebrate this ritual of connection. The first note was written by my daughter. My son will send the next one. I haven’t posted one yet, but I suspect the time will come soon.

Our society is aging. Millions of people will become old over the next two decades. In my 50s, I am part of this hair-trimming tribe. A smaller pool of younger people will be left to care for us, understand and relate to us. Each of us has a responsibility to support one another during this massive demographic transition that is testing our economy, health care system, workers and families like never before. It is very important to stay connected and engaged as we move through this new frontier.

My professional life has been dedicated to creating systems that support human relationships; links to benefits, information, resources and support services. The letters reminded me that our strongest relationship is communication.

• 42% of caregivers live within twenty minutes of caring. A quarter of care recipients (24%) live with the carer and a fifth (19%) live within an hour of receiving care. The remaining 15% of caregivers live more than one hour from the care recipient. – Source: National Alliance for Caregiving.

• Long-distance caregivers live approximately 480 miles from the person they care for. – Source: Remote Caregiver Project – Alzheimer’s Association LA & Riverside, Los Angeles, CA.

• Between the years 2000 – 2015, the number of long-term caregivers will double. – Source: Remote Caregiver Project – Alzheimer’s Association LA & Riverside, Los Angeles, CA.

• The National Institute on Aging estimates that there are 7 million Americans who are remote caregivers.

• Long-term caregivers spent about $8,728 a year. – Source: National Alliance for Caregiving, Evercare, with United Health Group 2010.

• Many long-term caregivers have had to cut back on work hours, take more vacation time, take on more debt and cut back on personal expenses. It’s a problem that gets worse over time. Source: National Alliance for Caregiving, Evercare, with United Health Group 2010.

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