What Is Average Weight For A 9 Year Old Boy ADD – How to Cope

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ADD – How to Cope

Coping with ADD is an ongoing challenge for parents. We do not “cure” ADD. We really have to live with it. “How are you coping?” It is well said. I aim to provide you with concrete tools that you can use immediately for impressive results.

Remember that ADD is an attention deficit disorder with the primary problem being attention. We distinguish ADD from ADHD because ADHD has attention problems and Hyperactivity. I started treating this disease in 1985 before the two were separated. I still prefer to think of both as just “ADD”.

ADD children are easily distracted. They are drawn to the “next shiny thing.” On their way to one bright object, another caught their attention and they left. It sounds funny but it can be frustrating for parents or teachers trying to deal with these kids. In fact, get a few of them somewhere, and check them out. Children with ADD are easier to deal with individually than in groups.

In fact, lack of attention has been given a bad name. It’s not really a “deficit” of attention. In reality, the child notices or cares too much. They notice everything. It’s a surplus, not a deficit.

Here are some great tips to help you cope well with most children with ADD.

  1. Educate yourself. ADD is a developmental delay. The child cannot do what he has not yet done. We measure this developmental delay to be about 30% behind “normal” development. Therefore, a child under the age of 13 may work as a 9-year-old. He may be 13 years old but his abilities are still developing at level 9. The last two skills to develop in the human brain are: 1) Intrinsic Motivation vs. and 2) Delayed gratification. Don’t all children struggle in these areas? Think of the ADD child’s brain as a very good computer, but 30% of the software has not been installed. Using computer analogies works well to explain this easily. It’s like you’re pressing the right key on the keyboard, but the computer isn’t responding. You are frustrated and wondering what is wrong with the computer. Then you wonder why you don’t know how to use that computer. In fact, there is nothing wrong with you or the computer. It will not be able to respond to your commands until the software is installed. Just as your child may not be able to respond or perform as you expect because the brain has not yet developed its skills.
  2. Change your expectations. Once you know your child has ADD, you need to adjust your expectations of his abilities. This does not mean that he is not capable, or capable of many things. He may need to be spoken to, reminded, encouraged and monitored. Your understanding and expectations need to change first.
  3. Give one order at a time.Have you given your child with ADD several tasks such as “go upstairs and make your bed, take your coat down to the laundry room, and take out the recycling bin?” I believe you have. And you know what happens. You see him 10 minutes later playing with the cat in the room outside his room. He doesn’t know why you’re upset and he doesn’t really know what you said to him. If you were lucky, he made his bed and played with toys on the floor of his room. At least he got the first job. ADD children cannot multitask. Stop frustrating yourself and him and give him one task at a time. It won’t happen yet, but it goes ahead and remembers many consecutive requests. Stop your frustration. It doesn’t change. You need to change the way you submit work.
  4. When you assign a task, have him repeat it back to you so you know he got it.This one is huge. It sounds so simple, and it is. But it is also very powerful. Learning and memory are strengthened through repetition. Additionally, the more auditory you use when giving orders, the better. By modalities I mean visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Looking at you or seeing the work is visual. Hearing you say it was heard. Kinesthetic can be touch or feeling (or both). Therefore, if you touch him, or smile or create a positive feeling and attitude while talking, you have worked in three ways. Your child will retain more and therefore it will be easier to follow the work.
  5. If you are not at home, give the instructions or orders on the spot.We cannot expect ADD children to remember our behavior or performance expectations. Especially since you can’t expect him to remember the specific expectations of the situation. Let’s take the shopping center as an example. At the door of the store, tell the child what you expect. Ask him to return it to you. The number of good achievements will increase dramatically. At home, it is possible to re-read the lesson at home after the lesson you gave before the lesson. Or, you can call him from work, with him in the room where you put the work and you created a situation.
  6. Most importantly, as a parent, you must rest and do as much as possible.ADD children are especially sensitive to positive or negative energy around them. They are more sensitive. If you are negative, angry, hateful or sarcastic they will pick up on it and be affected by it. Be perfect. Very clear. Be strong. A lot of love. Be as realistic as possible. This will always happen whether our child has ADD or not. I have seen some sad situations in my practice where parents are so upset and upset with a child that they don’t know how to talk to them and about them. He couldn’t seem to handle the child. It can hurt a lot. Imagine the hurt inside the child when it sounds like their parents don’t love them. It can cut from birth and cause serious harm to the child. A child does not have enough armor to sustain such a massive injury. This can cause permanent damage. So be as loving, caring and considerate as possible.

These are just a few of the things I know will help. Attention can be drawn again using the child’s name. Touching the shoulder focuses attention. Parents’ actions make all the difference in the world.

Dealing with ADD is not easy for everyone. But you can easily cope. Many successful, strong, and happy adults had ADD as children, and as adults. These children are usually bright and fun. Sure, they can be annoying at times. But can’t we all be?

© 2010 by John B Hudome, all rights reserved.

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