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Body Hating – Who’s That Fat, Ugly Woman in the Mirror?
Are you a woman struggling with a fat and ugly image? When bathing suit season rolls around, are you dying to lift your hips? Is “Lights out, honey” your mantra when you’re hanging out with your significant other? It may mean that you are uncomfortable with your body. You are not alone. Many women struggle with negative body image. With so many girls dissatisfied with their bodies, the diet industry is getting fatter and fatter, earning upwards of $60 billion a year. Because diet organizations make money when they succeed in making you feel fat and insecure. When you look in the mirror, do you love what you see? Research shows that 4 out of 5 American women today say they hate their bodies. That’s 80% of the female population in the entire United States. Are you one of them?
Why can’t you see yourself as you are?
The truth is that we do not see ourselves and our bodies as we are, or even as others see us, because we cannot observe ourselves objectively, and see only an interpretation of reality, not what really exists. Our perceptions are colored or filtered by our experiences. If your family is a blue family, you were given “blue glasses”. If your family and your experience are part of the pink crowd, you look at the world through rose-colored glasses. We are all different because of how our experiences have shaped us. Our brain is always making sense out of everything we see. The important thing to remember is that it doesn’t matter what colored glasses you experience the world through; this is just a starting point. You don’t have to be stuck with these misconceptions. It might be time for an upgrade.
Self-image: the mirror in your mind
Inside each of us is the equivalent of a large computer that stores all of our life experiences in memory. This is called the subconscious mind. It is said that the subconscious mind is not a specific part of your brain, it is in every cell of your body. This database in you contains a set of beliefs and experiences called your self-image. It defines who you are, your body, your life, and everything you believe is possible. In order to live a happy, truly happy and fulfilling life, you must have an adequate and authentic self-image that you can live in harmony with. You should be good enough for you. It gives you a good sense of self-esteem. It is an image of yourself that you can trust and believe in, like and admire, respect and honor.
When your self-image is intact, you feel better and more secure. When something shocks or scares you, you feel insecure. If you have been insulted or hurt, criticized or ridiculed, you may still feel the effects of that emotional pain, and depending on how you interpreted the experience, you may feel ashamed and hide your light. Just because it seems like the safest option for you. If you’re trapped in your body and hate a part of yourself, it’s because you see yourself as this ugly, shameful, disgusting, unworthy, fat, ugly, stupid, or incompetent image. This is not true!
If you can’t see yourself differently, no diet, no exercise, no praise, or anything else will make you believe something that part of you isn’t ready to believe. Without doing anything radical like cosmetic surgery or dieting, you need to change your inner self to change these negative core beliefs that limit you and make you feel different about your body. The good news is that this self-image, or subconscious mind, is completely impersonal and neutral to the information it holds. So if you don’t like the way you look or feel about your body, all you have to do is redirect your subconscious mind or self-image.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon, does facelifts without a scalpel
This remarkable discovery of the power of self-image and the extent of its influence is due to the work of one man, Dr. Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1960s. At age 61, he wrote his first book, Psychocybernetics, which became a self-improvement phenomenon that has sold over 30 million copies to date. Today, you can’t find a self-improvement book or program that doesn’t rely on his groundbreaking discoveries to teach you how to change your negative self-image. Maltz said: “Self-image, good or bad, is changed not by intelligence or intellectual knowledge alone, but by ‘experience.’ Start “seeing” yourself doing things differently.
Basically, his ideas are focused on visualizing your goals. This is truly the secret of The Secret. Here’s how it all came about. Before writing Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maltz noticed that after a successful cosmetic procedure, his patients were left thinking that they agreed that their flaws had already been well-corrected.
After studying many cases, he noticed a parallel. Each of the patients who felt that cosmetic surgery would do nothing for them had very low self-esteem. Deep down they felt that there was nothing they could do to correct their shortcomings. One day, Dr. Maltz brainstormed and realized that they needed to adjust their intake. He made a deal with one of his clients, Jack, who was obsessed with his crooked nose. Dr. Maltz said that he would not agree to operate on Jack again until Jack took a temporary step. Dr. Maltz suggested that Jack be taught to recreate his distorted image using the visualization process. He explained that it takes 21 consecutive days to complete the process. After this time, if Jack still wasn’t satisfied, Dr. Maltz would perform the operation.
At the end of 21 days, Jack was so happy with his nose that he didn’t even want to have surgery.
My Body Hate to Body Love Experience: Lots of sighs at my big fat thighs
In my experience, before I decided to stop dieting, I focused on the size of my hips for several years. Regardless of my height, I swore I must have the biggest hips in the world. Losing weight or exercising wasn’t enough to change my distorted perception of my body. When I finally decided to stop dieting because I pictured myself as a fat pig with no self-control over food, I lost all control, could never stop eating, and gained 35 pounds.
One day, as I woke up and looked at my fat figure in the mirror, I realized that I had to accept myself and my hips the way they were, or continue to live my crazy life hoping and praying that diet and exercise would change them. . I knew I could never live with the tyranny of dieting again, so the alternative was to learn to love myself now. Since I made this choice, I know that the problem was never my hip size. It was all in my head. It was low self-esteem and poor self-image that I carried with me every day. Those were the angry thoughts, negative words and criticisms I shouted as a child. These memories are so emotional that every time I look in the mirror or think about how I feel about my body, these tapes replay in my mind and I become my own worst critic. The angry voice that was mine couldn’t stop me from eating. I knew I needed to change the way I talked to myself and find kindness and gentleness within myself. It started with deciding to stop dieting and vowing to learn to trust myself again.
Today I don’t worry about dieting or watching my weight and I know I can count on any and all foods I respect and value myself: Andrea, the person. Food is no longer my master and I am no longer its slave. As I continue to take steps to befriend and love my body at any size, I find it getting smaller and smaller. I’m not trying to lose weight. I just – I do it in the least invasive way possible.
I love knowing that I have cookies, potato chips, ice cream, and pasta in my house and being surrounded by lots of goodies and not wanting to eat them when I’m not hungry. I love the feeling of empowerment that comes with being able to put a bag clip on my potato chips and put them back in the cupboard, knowing that I don’t want to eat them anymore and they’ll be there later. I know that on the rarer and rarer occasions that I eat a little more than my body wants, it’s not a reason to beat myself up, feel disgusted, or blame myself for not doing anything. No apology needed.
When I overeat, it’s just an indication that something deeper is wrong with me. By taking care of that, figuring out what it is, dealing with those pains, and treating myself as lovingly and gently as possible, the desire to abuse myself with food will disappear. Let me tell you everything I learned on the way. I am bursting with information to teach you. Let me help you adopt a new way of thinking beyond diet so you too can love your hips or any other body at any size.
Here are some tips to help you change your fat and ugly image:
1. Watch body-affirming television TV shows like Lifetime’s How to Look Naked are quick to lift the mood. Hosted by Carson Kressley, former co-host of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Carson focuses on helping women move from hating their bodies to loving them. I like to think of it as a 60-minute self-image makeover. At the helm of Carson, you’ll cry with laughter as you learn to see your body with love and compassion.
2. Look for role models Find a woman who has the same body type as you and is already doing what you want. If you hate your hips and wish you could go to the beach in a bathing suit, find a woman who does and ask her permission to ask a few questions. Tell him that you are not comfortable and you want to understand how you can look more like him so that you like your body more. Ask him how he feels. What does he think about when he is on the beach? What motivates him and many other questions you may have.
3. Get support Spend time with other women who value their bodies.
4. Examining patterns Read books about women with shapes like you who love their bodies. This is a more reliable way to achieve the goal of actually talking to the other woman and asking her questions, but still.
5. Stop zooming Don’t let anyone or anything tell you how you have a right to feel. Step away from the scale. Drop it or throw it away. Stop judging yourself with this ugly metal sheet.
Finally, and most importantly — You are not your hips, your butt, your curly hair, or your saggy breasts, or any other part of your body. You are much more than meets the eye. Start envisioning yourself at the size you want, the size you want, and instead of focusing on dieting, eating less, or anything else to make it happen, do what you would do if you were that girl. . You, go Juicy woman! I believe you! Do you?
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